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The X Factor judge feels uncomfortable with her own superstar
status as Ashley, 29, finds himself Britain's public
enemy No 1 since
their split.

Cheryl,27, and the England and Chelsea defender are now
speaking up to five times a week and consider themselves
soul mates again.

In one chat with her estranged {husband, Cheryl admitted:
I didn't want it to be like this. I feel guilty.

The couples calls are becoming more frequent even though
Cheryl spends most of her time with American dancer
Derek Hough, 25.

A close friend of the Cole's confirmed: Cheryl and Ashley
are speaking more honestly and openly to one another than
they probably ever have.

Cheryl hates seeing the abuse and stick Ashley gets these
days. She worries that she didn't do enough to put a stop to
some of the stuff that was thrown at him after they
broke up in March.

Ashle yis speaking to her about his own {frustrations with
the way his life is now. In another conversation, Ashley said
he had repeatedly considered moving abroad to escape the
strength of feeling against him. But he wants to stay
loyal to Chelsea.

Singer Cheryl also said she felt guilty for the way she
blocked Ashley's bid to engineer a move to Real Madrid five
years ago before they wed. At the time she was determined to
concentrate on her career with Girls Aloud.

The friend added:Cheryl and Ashley have talked about how their
lives could have turned out a lot {differently. Theres no
doubt Ashley would leap back into her arms if she decided
to ask him back. Patching things up is not onthe agenda at
the moment. Instead they just make sure they are therefore
one another whenever they need to talk.

The People can reveal that Geordie Cheryl worries about
relations with her Girls Aloud band mates.

Shetold Ashley she is not as close as she once was to Sarah
Harding, 28,Nicola Roberts, 24, and Nadine Coyle, 25. She
hopes to rebuild their bond but only feels truly close to
Kimberley Walsh, 28.

The friend said: Cheryl's career has gone from strength to
strength over the past year.

In the same way that she is concerned about the way Ashley
has become hated, Cheryl worries that the other Girls Aloud
members will hold her incredible success against her.

Cheryl yesterday made a clear sign that she holds no animosity
towards Ashley despite his reported infidelity.

It emerged she will keep her married name Cole when her second
solo album is released later this year.

The singer was stricken by life-threatening malaria after
returning from {holiday in Tanzania but recovered in time
to finish recording sessions in LA.

Cheryl says she is {following the example of chart legend Tina
Turner, 70, who kept the surname of husband Ike after
their 1976 divorce.

And Cheryl makes a point of not holding Derek Hough's
hand or being pictured showing him affection on their
frequent outings in Los Angeles.

Hehas become a constant fixture in her life and The
People told last week how blond Derek said he would
jump at the chance of marrying Cheryl.

Cheryl lodged divorce papers at the High Court in May,
citing Ashley's unreasonable behaviour but has not pushed
proceedings further.

She is due to return from LA this week to film the judges
houses stage of X Factor for ITV.

The friend added: Cheryl has told Ashley she wants to meet up
once she's back. They are due to see one another over the
next few weeks.

WRITTEN BY katie Hind from the on August 14 2010

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